oh the irony…

it hasn’t rained here in quite some time. i’d know.

but today there is rain.

today, on this first of march… rain.

…i’ve always enjoyed rain.

     

new york diner.

wow. sorry for not writing for quite some time. i suppose i was suffering from a case of writer’s block, even though i’m not a writer.

fiddle dee dee.

there is a diner close to where we live and i have been frequenting it a bit. i sit at the same table and no matter what food i get, i always order coffee. and when i go by myself, which is the norm, i always tote a magazine or a book. on this particular day, i wrote. i wrote on those little mail-in subscription, pre-stamped, pre-addressed cards. and here is what i wrote:

monday, 23rd of february, 10:30am

as i sit in the middle of Bangkok at a quaint restaurant known as “New York Diner,” i can’t help but feel more at home than ever.

the familiar taste of coffee that has been sitting on the burner its allotted time brings back such fond memories. and though i am quite the coffee connoisseur, i will always have a deep kinship with bad coffee from local diners.

i am current reading an imported copy of “Elle,” compliments of my Mother.

the weather is hot but there is a nice breeze coming from a combination of the air-con and a nearby fan.

the curtains next to me are closed to block the inevitable, always appearing sun beating down.

i am wearing the shirt i wore yesterday. my hair is quite messy. and i keep shifting my legs to sitting “indian style” to sitting properly (when sitting in a chair).

i opted not to bring my iPod; i often forget to listen to the music by which i am constantly surrounded.

my thoughts tend to wander from things past to things present to things that are to come.

and though i am unable to quiet my mind, i can’t help but feel a sense of peace… sitting in New York Diner… drinking a bad cup of coffee.

 

                                                    pensive. typical. obvious.

 

a video blog… a vlog.

Enjoy!

danny will return shortly…

oh man! i need to post an update, stat! fear not, one is coming…

my perpetual inspiration…

musical theatre.

i have felt so inspired and driven lately and i’m excited to see what’s to come of these next few months (because i may or may not have a few schemes up my sleeve).

below i have posted lyrics of a song that… pretty much sums up how i’ve been feeling lately, and perhaps how i’ve always felt. (if you don’t want to read the lyrics, even though i highly recommend it, i’ve included a YouTube video of it… so maybe you can play the video and read the lyrics at the same time? clever, no?) but watch the video if you have time because the ending is fierce.

Spark of Creation, from Children of Eden (by Stephen Schwartz)

I’ve got an itching on the tips of my fingers
I’ve got a boiling in the back of my brain
I’ve got a hunger burning inside me, cannot be denied
I’ve got feeling that the Father who made us
When he was kindling a pulse in my veins
He left a tiny spark of that fire, smoldering inside

The spark of creation, is flickering within me
The spark of creation, is blazing in my blood
A bit of the fire that lit up the stars
And breathed life into the mud, the first inspiration
The spark of creation

I see a mountain and I want to climb it
I see a river and I want to leave shore
Where there was nothing let there be something, something made by me
There’s things waiting for me to invent them
There’s worlds waiting for me to explore
I am an echo of the eternal cry of
“Let there be!”

The spark of creation, burning bright within me
The spark of creation, won’t let me rest at all
Until I discover or build or uncover
A thing that I can call, my celebration
Of the spark creation

The spark of creation, may it burn forever
The spark creation, I am a keeper of the flame
We think all we want is a lifetime of leisure
Each perfect day the same
Endless vacation
Well that’s alright if you’re a kind of crustacean
But when you’re born with an imagination
Sooner of later you’re feeling the fire get hotter and higher
The spark of creation

an epiphany

we  keep a few of our windows open (while the air-con is on), because there is usually a nice breeze. well.. on saturday morning i awoke to the sound of children laughing and playing outside. my first thought was: that’s such a beautiful sound. i then reached for my clock to see what time it was… and as the numbers “6:42″ came into focus, i had a second thought: i enjoy sleep waaaay too much to have kids yet.

meaningless chatter

i cannot believe it is December… crazy. time seems to go so much faster when there is no change of season.

so i have some good news, but i can’t tell you until after monday. and it may or may not involve a baby.

ok, it doesn’t involve a baby… but were you totally freaked out for a second!?

hey, have tried the Mint Truffle Hershey Kisses? i’m certain they have them in the States if they are available here (but you probably pay way less for them). they are soooo good. go buy some right now!

i made tacos for dinner (i am always making tacos, right.), and i definitely ate six.

i feel a bit rejuvenated about life. it’s a good feeling and i’m curious to see if it will last. this rejuvanation came about recently – and it has woken me up a bit to some changes i’ve been needing to make. so cross your fingers and say a little prayer for me that progress will continue. i’m so unpredictable sometimes.

that being said, i find great irony in the times i stated as a child that i couldn’t wait to “grow up.” and now being more grown up than i was when that statement was made, i often want nothing more than to retreat back to childhood. the grass is always greener…

i just sneezed and realized that i always say “excuse me” after i sneeze… even when no one is around. do i even need to say “excuse me?” is that necessary?

25 things for which i am thankful…

(notice how i didn’t end that title with a preposition? man, i’m good.)

1. my husband, Ryan

2. family

3. friends, here and back in the States

4. my dog, Charlie (and Carter, my cat back home)

5. God’s grace

6. internet!

7. rain

8. people who come out of the woodwork and positively influence your life

9. Hidden Valley Ranch dressing

10. knowing it’s never too late to better myself

11. good hair days (i’m girl, gimme a break)

12. the Christmas decorations and Christmas music in the malls

13. chapstick

14. packages from home

15. air conditioning!!

16. Love.

17. good health

18. laughter and wit

19. getting paid to do something i really enjoy that also allows me to use my talents

20. Youtube and Facebook (…i know. but seriously, i am.)

21. a good pen – you know i’m right. it’s so much more fun to write when you have a good pen.

22. music

23. people who are willing to put me in my place out of care and concern, or sometimes irritation

24. You.

25. snow… oh, wait…

an international thanksgiving: food, kids, karaoke

well hello :) it seems that i have not blogged hardly at all this month… crazy, no?

so, let us rewind back to friday, aka my favorite day i have experienced since living in Bangkok.

friday, ryan and i had the day off of work due to thanksgiving festivities we had been invited to. actually, let me preface this a tiny bit: most of ryan’s clients are up in an area of Bangkok known as Nichada. this is a gated community where Americans live in pretty gorgeous homes. there is also an International School of Bangkok there where their children attend. sooo… ryan does bootcamps up there, which mostly the moms attend while their husbands are working, and he also does bootcamps for the varsity sports teams at the school.

moving on…

one of ryan’s bootcamp clients, a wonderful lady named Michele, invited us to her Thanksgiving feast she was throwing. but before that we decided to go see ISB’s (Int’l School of Bkk), production of “My Fair Lady.” this musical is long anyway, but it seemed 10x longer being put on by high schoolers. i will say this though, the pit (orchestra) was phenomenal! and overall, the acting was really good. but yes, i did critique everything… unintentionally, of course.

after the show, it was about 6pm, we headed over to Michele’s for din-din. she and her husband, Robert (who oddly reminded me of Bob Hope), have five children. another family that was there, Amy and Mathew, have seven children. there were also (which i later found out to be) Mormons who were on their mission, and another couple who happened to be our age. needless to say, a lot of people.

the two families with the children are great because they have interesting jobs. for example, Mathew creates microchips for a TON of stuff (such as Guitar Hero III). and Robert is a doctor, but he is also a researcher and is in the process of finding cures and solutions to crazy diseases. he was fun to talk to because he is a guy that knows a lot about a lot; mostly because he reads TONS of books. so once he found out i was a “triple threat” we talked about vaudeville and theatre stuff. and he let me borrow a book on vaudeville haha.

so… all the children. it makes me want to have lots of kids now. i really only interacted with Amy and Mathew’s kids and fell completely in love with their two year old son, Eli (and i’m pretty sure the feeling was mutual… kinda).

after dinner, i definitely played karaoke with the moms and it was hilarious to see how much they got into it. and i also made the younger girls (and boys) play. speaking of which, one of my favorite things about kids is how much they “lie.” for example, 10 yr. old Libby… granted it was late, i said to her, “You have to sing this song with me,” to which she said “I’m so tired.” of course, i got her to play because when kids say they’re “so tired,” what they really mean is, “i want to play but i might be too cool to show that i’m actually enjoying myself.”

have you ever seen Baby Mama? well, there is a part where the two female characters are playing the karaoke game and Tina Fey’s character is about precision, where as Amy Poehler’s (who i have a girl crush on) character is about having fun. let’s just say, Michele (the owner of the home) was Tina Fey in this particular karaoke scenario. brilliant.

what else?

ah, yes. so… ryan and i are looking for place in the Nichada area to move to. if we do re-locate up there, i will quite possibly start an afterschool drama/singing/dancing program at ISB – which would be super fun. and being up there reminded me how much i miss being around Americans. also, i must say that both families were so incredibly kind and made me feel so welcome and at home.

in conclusion, i have decided i want seven children who are involved in lots of activities, and a large home to host big shin-digs. ryan agrees with most of that…

“For such as we are made of, such we be. ” – Twelfth Night, Shakespeare

so…

that’s not true is it? i mean, people DO and CAN change, right? it’s just a matter of wanting to change?

in my life, there have been two particular individuals who have had such a huge, yet extremely negative, impact on me. and i often wonder if some of their despicable characteristics rubbed off on me in such a way, that it led me to mirror their very actions.

the thing about these two individuals… they have masterfully and meticulously coerced others into believing that they’ve changed… and yet… “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.”

does a dog always return to its vomit?

i frustrate myself sometimes because i’ve experienced such… unique(?)… situations in life that i SHOULD be using to better myself – but i haven’t really done that entirely.

so…

anyway. i’m babbling.

in other news… Charlie (my dog) keeps humping my leg and i don’t know how to get him to stop! it’s so funny, and also slightly awkward.

i’m watching A Christmas Story, yet again, and honestly… though i love xmas movies, they are 10x better to watch when it’s cold and snowing. dang. although, i did (kinda) see snow this past week…

is it me, or were child actors so much better back then?

so guess what? nope. nope. guess again… still wrong. –  i am… in the process of… writing a kids/ish story. what the? i know right. and honestly, the only reason i’m telling you is so i will have the pressure to finish something i’ve decided to start. it’s Seuss-ish in nature, so if you don’t like Dr. Seuss, then your opinion doesn’t count. also, before you judge me… just know that i’ve done my Seuss research… and that’s all i’ll say.

happy monday.