when i was in elementary school, for some reason i thought the way you got chicken pox was by eating chicken and then taking a bath directly afterward. i don’t know if someone told me that or i just thought it was the most legitimate reason. then, when i was in third grade, i got them. and as i laid in bed with oven mitts on my hands, i realized that the night before, i had chicken for dinner. and then i bathed afterward! coincidence? i think not. the worst thing about it was that i was supposed to play the kid on crutches for the easter show at church. but since i had chicken pox, i couldn’t. my mom suggested maybe i could play a person with leprosy, but i wasn’t laughing. i mean, didn’t she realize that the kid on the crutches got to throw down the crutches with dramatic flair (after Jesus clapped his hands), and then run across the ENTIRE stage and be lifted up in the air by Jesus on the last note of the song while the spotlight focused in on the two of them!? sigh. it would’ve been my big break…
once ryan told me that holding in your farts causes the smell to seep out your skin, so it’s best to let them out. i actually believed him because it sounded logical.
in middle school, it was cool to watch tv while on the phone with a friend as they watched the same show at their house. well, one time i tricked this particular friend by putting on the closed captioning and saying the lines along with the characters; claiming i had already seen that particular episode (of Animaniacs, thank you very much), and had it memorized. she believed me.
so… yeah.
