as an artist (of the theatrics), i have moments where i feel truly inspired (which do not happen often, mind you). but over the course of the past 36 hours i’d say, i have felt inspired – mainly due to a youtube video i watched of someone performing a song.
before leaving for thailand, i purchased a book. i knew i would read it at some point… and that some point was today. it’s called “the power of the actor.” having studied acting, i’ve learned/heard much of what i’ve read so far, but it’s been good to have it reiterated and there is always more to learn.
some might disagree with me, but i think it takes a certain type of person to be an actor, and be good at it. to quote the book,
“People who have chosen show business as a career often have an array of vices to choose from. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s what makes you an artist.”
someone, whom i hold in high esteem, once described me as “complex” to a friend of mine. there have been a lot of words used to describe me, but that was never one of them. but the more i thought about it, the more i realized how right they were. the interesting thing about them describing me as such, was that i did not have a lot of one-on-one interaction with them; they drew that conclusion on their own. and the person that said it was a director i once had. and since it was a director, i understood what they meant by “complex” because it was coming from a theatre point of view. the meaning would be quite different if it came from a family member or even a friend.
to go back to being inspired simply by seeing a song performed well… musical theatre…ly speaking, when i see someone sing a song, if they don’t “perform” it and there’s no emotion – i could honestly care less if they have a good voice. one time when i was at an audition, this one girl sang “tell me on a sunday,” which is a pretty emotional song. this girl did not have a great voice – or perhaps i should say… singing was not her strength. but she acted the heck out of that song! she was soo incredibly believable that i actually put aside her voice and saw her playing a character. i have been to many auditions, and out of all of them, this is the only audition performance i remember someone else doing. ever.
it’s things like that which inspire me and allow me to fully appreciate what musical theatre is all about; thus challenging me to better myself. anytime i am not performing, i feel like i’m not living up to my FULL potential. and unfortunately, there is zip theatre opportunity here. so instead of pouting, i’ve decided this is a good time to really cultivate my talents. it’s like i’m in the off-season and i’m conditioning for what is to come.
i just keep realizing that though i am capable of many things… i am an actress. i’m a performer. i’ve known it since the eigth grade, and i haven’t been able to escape it (i’ve tried). performing is truly and absolutely the one thing in my life that makes me feel like i am utilizing 110% of what God has given me. and on stage or off, i can’t help but perform. it is something that is sooo deeply rooted in me, that it’s harder to deny and repress it than actually let it flourish.
