i have this brother. he’s 12 years older than me, which makes him extremely old (that was harsh. i take it back). but because he is ten years (plus two), older than me, he took great advantage of my sweet, caring, sisterly demeanor when we were growing up. so the following are lies michael paul (aka mikey paul [i'm not taking that one back]), told me… and yes, i believed him. i should also add that all accounts are paraphrased (seeing as so much time has passed), but i am certain they are 99% accurate.
1. upon entering his room:
mike: “you can’t come in here.”
me: “why?”
mike: “well, the other day when gary was over, he came in here and then got really sick and had to go the hospital.”
me: “he did?”
mike: “yep. do you smell that?”
me: “yeah.”
mike: “so did gary. and now he’s sick. you don’t want to end up like gary do you?”
me: “no!”
mike: “then it’s probably best you stay out of my room. i’m just looking out for you.”
2. one time when mike and gary were playing cards, i wanted to join in… this is what happened:
me: “hey can i play, too!?”
mike: “how old are you?”
me: “4 and a half.”
mike: “well, the box says ‘ages 6 and up.’”
me: “so what?”
mike: “well if i don’t follow the rules, they’ll put me in jail. you don’t want me to go to jail do you?”
3. mike: “gullible is not in the dictionary.” (uh… actually, it is.)
4. this isn’t a lie, but it’s funny (and my dad likes telling this story). one time mike did something he wasn’t supposed to, and my dad went into his room to reprimand him. and he sat down on the bed next to him and mike said, “hang on dad. let’s negotiate.” i actually don’t know how old mike was, but it was before my time.
5. mike would always say, “i have eyes everywhere.” and i always believed him… and still kinda do.
and in regards to lie #5, not only did michael effect my mental state, he and julie (his fabulous wife), are now affecting the upcoming generation by lying to their kids. (see recent skype convo we had):
Mike: we use something similar on the kids
Mike: we tell them we have hidden cameras
Danielle Meo: hahahah
Mike: and we can look at them when they do something bad and don’t say who did it
Mike: they have told on themselves everytime
Danielle Meo: haha that’s brilliant
Mike: though Ethan actually held out til Julie left the room to say she was gonna go watch the video
Mike: little bugger is getting smart…..
Danielle Meo: whoa – yeah he is
Danielle Meo: was she thinking “oh no?”
Mike: no, she came back in and said she watched it. And was there anything anyone wanted to say
Mike: he came clean then
Danielle Meo: that’s amazing
even though i fell victim to my mike’s devious ways, i am pro-lying to children. it’s just more fun. and for the record, i harbor no resentment or anger toward him. i’m sure he had my best interest in mind…
