i thought weekends were supposed to be relaxing?? ay yi yi.
aside from being busy… i have been thinking about something. there is a characteristic that two women i have met embody, that i would like to possess. now, i usually don’t tend to “desire” characteristics others have… but this particular one to which i am referring is not one i feel like i embody. and that would be… composure. though i have singled out two women, i am sure others are composed as well, but these are really the only two who have stood out to me.
one is a lady that frequented the coffeeshop on a daily basis. her name is helen. she is probably in her 50’s and she looks fabulous for her age. she also hails from sweden. apart from being externally beautiful, she has a certain air about her that makes her twice as lovely. she was always even tempered and in control and had great posture and… i don’t know. composed.
the second is someone i have met recently. her name is petra and she is from the czech republic. the way she conducts herself is so… tactful. from how she walks to how she speaks; the whole lot. like helen, she is also outwardly lovely, but her composed demeanor makes her seem even more of a standout.
ryan pointed out that both women to which i am referring are not american; which is definitely not to say that american women lack anything, but for some reason i tend to be drawn to foreigners (in the strictest non-sexual way possible).
all this goes to say, i do not feel like i am a composed individual (apart from the stage and what is known as “having presence”). maybe it’s because i’m dramatic and quite expressive? whatever the case, the women i tend to idolize (for lack of a better word), are those who exhibit composure. even growing up i recall being extremely drawn to eva peron, anne frank, princess diana, julie andrews, and audrey hepburn. there may have been more, but that’s all i can presently conjure up. all those women are/were quite influential in their respective fields, and all displayed a beautiful amount of composure (while also being quite endearing).
i don’t know if composure is something that can be taught, though. because i personally know it’s hard for me to not wear my heart on my sleeve or express myself with such dramatic flair. sure, those can be repressed, but it is unnatural for me to hold back.
so… that’s something that’s been on my mind… not feeling as though i am a composed woman, and wanting to be. aside from that, i really enjoy the characteristics i do possess.
aaaand that’s all she wrote.
