danny’s dark side… dun dun duuuun!

ack! i was writing a really funny blog entry but i then realized it had the potential to be ever so slightly offensive and might cause some of you to wonder, “is she referring to me.” so i nixed it.

so… back-up plan…

lessons. i do not learn lessons well and can be classified as a type of person who learns lessons the “hard way.” why is this? my wonderful husband is the complete opposite. he can smell something coming from a mile away; thus, doing all he can to prevent a potential bad situation from occurring. i, on the other hand, usually am the one to cause a bad situation to occur. on purpose? sometimes. why? i dunno.

ryan had a fairly drama-free life before he met me. but listen, it’s not that i am a drama-queen (although some of you will beg to differ), i am more along the lines of a drama-attractor. and i think that is maybe because i am an actress (what!?). i know right.

[i would like to preface the next statements by saying i am writing with sincerity and not arrogance.]

people are curious about me. they always have been. whether it’s girls, boys, men, women, authority figures, etc. but because i realize their curiosity… sometimes i milk it for all it’s worth. does this make me a bad person? maybe just a little… because sometimes instead of using that type of “power” (for lack of a better word), for good, i use it for selfish gain… and sometimes without even meaning to. and this makes me manipulative.

i often wonder where people’s curiosity about me comes from, and i’ve narrowed it down to a few categories: 1) those who can relate. B) those who like to watch trainwrecks. 3) those who like to dislike me. 4) those who actually like me.

one reason i liked the joker in “the dark knight” so much was because you couldn’t help but like him, even though he was evil. and through his evilness he was oddly relateable and captivating. you couldn’t help but keep watching and thinking “what is he going to do next.” and he had quite a meticulous method to his madness. …i get that.

and while i’m on the topic of my dark side, i’m also an exceptional liar (again, what!?). people, nine times out of ten, believe me and i don’t know why haha. it’s not funny… but it kinda is. and again, here’s the problem: i know people will believe me so i usually don’t have a fear of not being able to get away with something or getting what i want. and i don’t feel bad afterward. i mean, sure, i feel bad for not feeling bad, but that’s it. thinking back, i don’t ever remember lying very much to my parents… so that’s good.

why in the world am i telling you all of this? i mean, i don’t think i’m saying anything that is going to shock any of you and send you into acoma… but i wanted to point out something: the characteristics that i have been blessed with in life become my curses in the blink of an eye. even faster than turning on a light switch, which essentially makes it “the clapper.” and, in all seriousness, it’s something i really struggle with. i’m good at being bad. and i’m good at being good. and often times, i’m so good at being bad that people think i’m actually good. you follow?

so… now you know.

but afterall…

you are the one who’s curious…