today was a day to be remembered.
today i found out the most shocking, unfortunate, horrible news. and it’s unfair, and it’s wrong, and quite frankly, i won’t stand for it.
today… at lunch… i found out that no one in my company has ever had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
#$*@#$!
upon hearing the news, i was completely beside myself. i… couldn’t form words… it was like that time when i was nine and ricky decker told me that he heard his dad telling his sister, jessica, that santa claus wasn’t real. sometimes you think you know someone… and then BAM!
after a few moments of being in utter disbelief, while also feeling morose for these depraved people, i stood up and made a proclamation. “TOMORROW SHALL BE DECLARED ‘PEANUT BUTTER, JELLY DAY!’”
i’m serious. i am taking in JIF peanut butter, jam and bread – and i’m showin’ these people how it’s done. worry not good people of thailand, your pb/j saviour has arrived.
furthermore, i challenge you, dear reader – tomorrow (friday), eat a pb/j sandwich. show these thai people you care and you support their endeavors! for the love of JIF! eat a pb/j! do it for thailand.
