i love music. and i think the feeling is mutual.

music.

what a huge part of who i am and how i function. my life is consumed with music.

when i was in high school, as i would get ready in the mornings, i would decide what was going to be my song for the day. and anytime i was bored in class or feeling ordinary or attempting to mask certain emotions… or i just needed to get away, i would sing that song in my head. or sometimes outloud. and some days that is literally what got me through… that particular song.

there are certain songs that i associate with people, events, moments, memories, etc. and it’s interesting how sometimes i choose to refrain from listening to particular songs because it brings about an unwanted memory (hotel california, to name one). ugh. i dislike that song simply due to someone it reminds me of.

there are also certain songs that i’ve had to work myself up to listening to again. the irony in this is that the song(s) i am referring to began to cause me pain everytime i heard them, but they were such good songs! and the only way to get over feeling that pain was to allow (and sometimes force) myself to listen to them… so, in a way, i found healing through pain… yeah? the rub comes when trying to withstand the on-creep of the memories. difficult, but doable. …but difficult.

i enjoy the fact that if someone asked me to categorize songs for particular moments in life, i sooo could. not that anyone would ever ask me to do that… but seriously, i could write an autobiography just using songs.

there have been a few instances where i started liking an artist because the person i was “in to” at the time did (to clarify, a lot of people do this. i promise). an example would be, gavin degraw and john mayer. …i was about to voice something like, “i wonder if anyone has done the same with me” (you know, liked an artist [or in my case, broadway musical] because i did), but then i realized i’m not that cool.

anyway. i don’t know where i was going with any of this… they were just thoughts that were being thinked.

“if music be the food of love, play on — give me excess of it.”